Hairspray

Every time I hear it, every time I watch you smile,
I feel my color fade to grey; fade away.
I try until my fingers bleed and I found God on the road,
But that road leads me farther and farther away.

In the dim firelight I'd catch your gaze and lose it,
Drop your look and bruise it, but it's alright.
In your sight the lights too bright but the edges blur,
Until you're just a bad taste in my mouth, a dirty word.

~JAD

Your Lipstick and the Long Walk Away

you put your lipstick down as you stepped back from the mirror,
Red, like your heart used to be once upon a time.
Like a fairytale the door closed behind you, shadows once again,
And off you walked in the rain to speak another man's name.

You smile and nod and speak the perfect words,
But your eyes are somewhere else.
Another frigid day in the house of the absurd,
Why will I not burn while all around me melts?

Impossible to stand when the sand beneath you is sinking,
You reach for the noose; it's the only rope in sight.
But you pull yourself up again, not your idea:
Right foot, left foot, after all you've got your orders.


~JAD

Me Against Me

Teeth on the barrel, looking back
All black, just another panic attack.
Now I notice it's all a little off track,
Always me against myself.

I am the enemy, nobody worse
It's perverse the way these thoughts disperse.
Free ride in the back of a hearse,
Always me against myself.

Put me in the ground; move it along.
They said "Be strong" well they were wrong.
Getting impatient for the end of this song,
I was never myself.

~JAD

Decay

Hidden deep in light and breath,
A message left just for you.
More alive with every little death,
One of the empty among the few.

You can never take what I don't have,
And there's nothing left to give.
You've stolen away this broken thing,
And there's no reason left to live.

The past reaches out and strangles,
Cold fingers grow ever tighter.
This light burns from every angle,
And here I thought I was a fighter.

Would have, could have; just another word,
Do as I say and die as I do.
It's the sweetest sound you've never heard,
No one I hate to love like you.

My heart screams and the rope whispers:
Take the plunge and feel the freedom.
Maybe if I try I can disappear.

Scatter

 Pale, stretched; drawn back.
Teeth bared in a dead smile.
Black pools, ink, seeing all.
Are you here with me?
They are all here.
Just behind you, walking, pacing.
Staring.
Don't turn around.

~J.A.D

Idolicide

I am danger, what they warned you about.
I'll take everything you have, all that you love
and I will burn it to the ground.

You see in me just what I show you,
your savior built of ash and bone.
You cannot escape me, I will take what I want.

Being hollow isn't so hard, all you have to do is try.
Live empty, see the truth;
I am no good for you.

Stolen

You never spoke, never showed me how.
But, you created this thing. I belong to you now.
I eat my shame, you watch from far away.
I know it keeps you warm at night.

I thought I knew what this was,
this leash is shorter than I thought.
It's coming fast, that shining moment,
I'll chew my way out if I have to.

Back into the light once more,
back into the bright.
Can you feel me burning?
You taught me darkness, and now I need it.

~J.A.D